“He’s not going to be here” by Shae Simms


In 2010, there were 28 homicides in Durham. Children, siblings, cousins, mothers and fathers were senselessly taken from the families that loved them. This is a poem by Shae Simms, whose father was murdered May 21, 2005 on the corner of Broad Street and Leon Street in Northeast Central Durham. Shae is 18 years old.

He’s Not Going to Be Here

He’s not going to be here
To see me graduate high school
He’s not going to be here
To see Marcus play trumpet
And say that’s cool;
He’s not going to be here
To see Raven do her first cheer;
He’s not going to be here
When I get married and have kids;
He’s not going to be here
With me laughing and joking around;
He’s not going to be here
To see Shaun in his cap and gown;
He’s not going to be here
To play the game and win;
He’s not going to be here
With his family playing pretend;
He’s not going to be here
When I take my SAT & get my score;
He’s not going to be here
To help my mom with me anymore;
He’s not going to be here
To keep me warm when I get cold;
He’s not going to be here
with his brothers as they grow old;
He’s not going to be here
To experience with me my life as a teen;
He’s not going to be here
To joke around and mess with Darlene;
He’s not going to be here
When I first learn how to drive;
He’s not going to be here
Because he’s not alive;
And that’s the part
that is eating me up inside
I ask every day why
Did he have to be the one who died.
I just want to know
Why he had to leave us so soon
Why can’t he just be here with his kids
Sitting and watching cartoons;
He’s not going to be here
To see that we all came out to be smart
He’s not going to be here at all
And that’s what hurts so deep in my heart;
He’s not going to be here
To play with his children and be loud;
But it’s up to me to make sure that
We all become somebody
Who would have made him proud.